When breast isn’t best

27283664855_8a482bb787I looked down and there she was, looking back up at me, all pink and wrinkly, with a shot of red hair. I was exhausted and wanted to sleep, wanted to throw up too, that was the epidural wearing off. It was a long labour, but happy doesn’t describe how I felt in that moment… ecstatic, elated and euphoric come close .

I always saw myself as a mother nature type, a bit hippy dippy at times , I loved children and couldn’t wait to have my own. Here I was staring at my very own bundle. (I still felt like throwing up, tho) The midwife asked if I would like to try a feed? No sooner had she the words, out of her mouth, I had my boob out, ready to crack on with it. Nutrition for children is what I’m about, and I have already hooked up with a “breastfeeding buddy” in my area, So I’ve got this in the bag…

Bab,s was attached to me for 3 days and nights solid, every time I’d look at her, she would look back, with a sucking motion. (I was starting to feel like a milk machine )

The midwife kept checking if “baby” had her first wet nappy, (She hadn’t) She also passed a lighted hearted comment that my “boobies were a bit droopy” (oh how I laughed) and showed me a trick, how to breastfeed with droopy boobs, so I soldiered on, babs under my arm feeding from  my saddlebags. After the 3rd day the doctor explained to me that they will have to do a blood test and kidney scan, as baby hasn’t urinated yet …. Frightened .. this scared the living daylights out of me. The doctor then asked,” how would mother feel if we tried her with a bottle?” (delighted, relieved, em YESSS) “well only if it works”, I replied.

3668580431_d1152c0256The bottle was produced and the little maggot drained it like a builder drinking a pint, on a hot day. We waited… and it happened .. the first wee.. “ the gush went on forever” like a pee stop on a bus to slane in the 90,s .. I thought it wasn’t going to stop.  We cheered, I cried .. tears of joy, then tears of guilt… then just tears and tears and tears. The floodgates had opened, why couldn’t I do it? The most natural thing in the world… Why couldn’t I breastfeed

Months passed and my girly thrived, I continued to bottle feed, and as soon as she was ready for solids, I turned it up a notch. This is my bag, and that’s, where my food and parenting blog was born, “one yummy mummy” .. now I can make up for being a lousy droopy-boobed breastfeeder.

All the milestones were hit, she even started to walk at 10 months  and with that developed a love for climbing.  I noticed after a minor fall ,that her top lip was very tight to her gum, I went to a specialist because it was niggling at me. The specialist confirmed that it was “lip tie and tongue tie” which wasn’t really noticeable from the outside but fairly prominent on the inside… she said it could be fixed with a laser treatment and went on to ask “was she breastfeed?” … (here we go again) eh… no, I tried , but I couldn’t… it just em… she cut me off and said, “ because of the lip and tongue tie , she would have never been able to latch on”…

WHAT? Seriously  ? So it wasn’t my droopy jugs after all….

“Breastfed, bottle fed, spoon fed, or baby led… What’s best, Is  What works for you and your baby… Enough said…”

One yummy mummy x

15 thoughts on “When breast isn’t best

    • I know sinead .. I just felt useless… and the midwives and my droopy boobs… my boobs were fine before the pregnancy.. i just could figure why i couldn’t do it.. her lip tie was worse than the tongue tie… to be honest i hadn’t heard of lip tie before that

  1. I’m so sorry you had that experience. It must have been a terrible shock too to find out so many months later that there was a reason for it. You know my thoughts on the diagnosis of these things in Ireland!

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  3. My little girl had tongue tie too which wasn’t diagnosed until we got home and a nurse spotted it. she hadn’t peed in the first 24 hours of being breastfed too so we had to give her a bottle. in total she had 2 in the hosp. She’s now 3 months and has had tongue tie sorted but with reflux issues etc she doesn’t put on weight as much as she should so we’ve resorted to combination feeding. Breastfeeding exclusively doesn’t always work and no matter what the babies needs need to be put first. Motherhood is always a guessing game and one filled with constant guilt but so rewarding 🙂

  4. Sorry you had this experience Jolene. I had a similar experience with my second. Seemingly my anatomy wasn’t great lol It just shows that without proper post natal breast feeding support it is sometimes impossible to continue that much wanted journey. I had a much more positive experience on no 3 and had a very enjoyable 13 month bf journey (so my anatomy wasn’t to blame after all)

  5. Mine had tongue tie too and made breastfeeding agony. No one checked for it only I noticed he couldn’t stick his tongue out very far. Asked public health nurse to look and she said probably was tongue tied so we got it lasered but he’d gotten used to bottles after few days and refused to breastfeed no matter what we tried. It was so upsetting and I felt like such a failure. Cried for days. Midwives told me I had flat nippers and that was the problem!! Charming! !

    • ah… its so frustrating how common tongue tie and lip tie is…. i know how upsetting it can all be… im sure your a fantastic mother either way.. thats the main thing x

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