1, Don’t ask their opinion.
Through a man’s eyes, all shoes look the same.. they care about shoes just as much as we care about drill bits. We,ve walked into a shop, and told them we wont be long… BUT we can,t make up our mind,,, they just want to get out of the shop…THEY WILL TELL US ANYTHING (For example…..) I once bought a leopard print faux fur coat, Hubs opinion at the time was “yes.. I really love it.. its very stylish”, thinking I was Gwen Stefani. I wore it for 2 years. Eventually, when it was time to say goodbye to “faux fur coat “. “Hubs piped up “ being honest love, you always looked a bit like Pat butcher in that coat”…Enough said…
For some reason, blokes get very hot and sweaty on shopping excursions, It,s a bit of an assault course to them . Tell him, he doesn’t need to bring “that” jacket, he,ll only end up carrying it around over his arm from shop to shop. Plus he needs,s his hands free to help carry all the bags. Comfy trainers and light socks are essential too.
3, Pack a bag of tricks..
If your shopping at the weekend, more than likely he,s had a skinful the night before, Pack red bull, slophadine and chewing gum. He will think you’re a goddess for curing his banging head and dry mouth.. .. For bonus points pack a newspaper for him to read when he’s waiting outside the shops.
4, Avoid crowds.
If it,s getting fairly crowded. Point him in the direction of the bench outside. Produce the newspaper.. And let him admire the attractive passers-by… you,ll both get a good hour of shopping in peace this way…
5, Spot the signs
Like with your toddler, there signs you can spot before you fella turns from gismo to gremlin.
A bulging forehead vein, A twitch of the eye or full blown rise in blood pressure.. “Hanger” is usually the cause. Stop and have a bite to eat.
Let him pick where to eat… a double mocha frappuccino with goats cheese and sun-dried tomato panini won’t cut it here… if he want’s a “full Irish” go get a full Irish.
7, Avoid stoppages
It,s exciting bumping into an old friend or work colleague. But at this time , Just keep it short. He doesn’t want to hear, how a girl you haven’t seen in 5 years is getting on with her new diet or new bloke. Tell her you’ll text her and meet for a coffee another time, he will thank you for this one…..
8, Hand holding
Hold his hand… not in a romantic stroll kinda way. More like you would a with a toddler ,, kinda way. If you don’t he could veer off in another direction, getting lost in the lingerie section (father ted style).. with the danger of “you” being too hypnotised by handbags and shoes to answer your phone….
9, split up,
Dramatic I know. , but If he says” I need to get out of here “, he means it. Split up for an hour pick a meeting spot and make sure your back there at the agreed time. If you’re late by even 5 minutes there is a danger of meeting up with “ bulging forehead vein” so keep an eye on the time.
If he’s been good all day, Reward him.. I’m not saying you need to do a burlesque dance while making the dinner .. I’m talking about letting him watch the footie, giving him a few cans and not asking any questions, while he’s watching the game. You will reach legendary status this way… It,s all about give and take.. (your welcome guys 😉 )